


The Hale Pack List of Rules, Regulations, Guidelines, and Good Life Choices for Happy Living

by Gypsywriter135



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2012-11-05
Packaged: 2017-11-18 00:37:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gypsywriter135/pseuds/Gypsywriter135
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's pinned to the fridge, surrounded and half-covered by pictures, post cards, letters, magazine photos, newspaper clippings, drawings, and the occasional report card. It has coffee ring stains, ink smudges, and several different handwriting styles that have crossed out and added so much over the years that it's almost impossible to read the original.</p>
<p>But they keep adding to it.</p>
<p>And they all know exactly what it says even without looking at it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hale Pack List of Rules, Regulations, Guidelines, and Good Life Choices for Happy Living

**Author's Note:**

> Some is crack. Not proof-read or beta'd. Some is crack.

The Hale Pack List of Rules, Regulations, Guidelines, and Good Life Choices for Happy Living

 

1) The house is not a den. Please refrain from calling it that. ~~(That’s because Derek’s a sap and wants it to be a home)~~

                                                                                                     ^Dammit, Stiles!

 

2) The Betas are not to be referred to as “puppies” (Except by Stiles)

 

3) Stiles is NOT “Pack Mom” and Derek is NOT “Pack Dad” and please stop calling them that ~~(To their faces)~~

 

4) If you finish off something in the kitchen, throw the empty box/bag/jug/bottle away (Dammit, Derek, this means you too!)

 

5) When Lydia asks you to do something, you are required to do, no questions asked (Unless you are Danny. Then you can ask all the questions you want)

 

4) Stop making lizard references and jokes to Jackson. We don’t want to keep replacing the couch

 

6) Do not bother Derek in the morning until he’s eaten and had coffee (Remember this helpful phrase: Red eyes at night, packmates’ delight! Red eyes at morning, packmates’ take warning!)

     ^Why

 

7) Upsetting Isaac in any way is punishable by death

 

8) Don’t touch Allison’s weapons ~~(If we have to go to Deaton’s one more time because one of you was stupid, I’m going to-)~~

                                                                           ^Yes, thank you, Derek. They got the picture.

 

9) Sexy times are only allowed to happen in the house if no one else is home. The walls are thin and everyone can hear you ~~(Stiles and Derek are exempt from this rule)~~

 ^Not a chance. Nice try though.

 

10) You break it, you buy it (And getting Jackson to buy it for you only worked that first time, Erica)

 

11) Do not interrupt Stiles when he is watching baseball… EVER

 

12) Dog jokes are only fun the first time

 

13) Stop giving Scott potatoes. He still hasn’t figured it out and he’s going to cry if it continues

 

14) Boyd actually doesn’t want hugs. Stop trying to give him hug therapy

 

15) Danny is not the “God of Gay” and going to him for your multiple identity crisis’ only annoys him

 

16) Isaac is actually a puppy and will get his way no matter what

 

17) ~~DAMMIT, STOP TRYING TO GIVE ME BELLY RUBS OR I SWEAR I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR THROAT OUT WITH MY TEETH~~

            ^Please keep trying. He actually loves them and it’s hilarious to watch

 

18) “Doctor Who” references are always relevant

 

19) Please refrain from commenting on smelling certain things that humans cannot. It makes everyone uncomfortable

 

20) Mr. Argent is not in a relationship with The Code (Even if it’s true…)

 

21) Peter is never allowed to challenge Lydia in anything in regards to style or fashion ever again (We’re still finding glitter everywhere)

 

22) Stiles is not allowed to be used as a replacement ball during training runs (And Derek is not the one you return him to afterwards)

 

23) Twilight jokes were not, are not, and will never be okay

 

24) Do not challenge Mrs. McCall about anything (You will not win)

 

25) Puppy piles are not clothing optional (We don’t want a repeat of that incident…)

 

26) Jackson’s hair care products are to be left untouched (No, seriously. He’ll get cranky.)

 

27) What happens in the woods, stays in the woods

 

28) If you’re going to use the Camaro, please clean it afterwards (I’m going to murder the next person that spills something in it…)

 

29) Derek’s room is not “The Lair of Gloom and Brooding” ~~(even if it’s true)~~

 

30) Allison can and will emasculate you if you bring up Gerard

 

31) PETER IS NOT ALLOWED TO FOLLOW STILES AROUND AND NAG HIM ABOUT GETTING THE BITE ~~(It was just a bit of fun)~~

                                                                                                                                                              ^NO

 

32) Mr. Stilinski is the Sheriff, not your go-to guy when something goes wrong (Unless you’re Stiles)

                                                                                                                                          ^And sometimes Scott

 

33) Werewolf movies are forever banned from movie nights

 

34) Derek does not feed on the hopes and dreams of small children ~~(That would be Peter)~~

                                                                                                                        ^Haha, Derek…

 

35) Stiles, I swear, if you continue to wear that stupid red hoodie…

            ^Shut up, you like it

 

36) Despite what Derek may tell you, leather is not mandatory. You are free to wear whatever you choose ( :( )

                                                                                                                                                                      ^ Wow, Derek. So mature….

 

37) For the love of god, please don’t talk about supernatural related things in school. It’s amazing you all went so long without anyone finding out

 

38) Derek and Stiles are forbidden to sit next to each other during pack meetings for obvious reasons

 

39) Please keep in mind that Allison has an entire arson at her disposal (That means don’t piss her off by commenting on her and Scott’s relationship)

                                                                                                                                        ^That was one time!

 

40) Dammit, just leave Erica alone when she raids the kitchen

 

41) If Lydia wants chocolate, get her chocolate (I don’t think anyone wants to relive that scenario…)

 

42) Stiles is not allowed near any bananas ever again ~~(But I wasn’t-)~~

                                                                                                ^No one wants to see that, Stilinski

 

43) Boyd’s computer is his computer, and no one should touch it for fear of their eyes burning out of their skulls

 

44) If you make Isaac cry, Lydia will find you (And trust me, boys… I can be quite creative)

 

45) Deaton’s clinic is neutral ground (This goes for real life scenarios too)

 

46) Red Rover, Red Rover is ~~not~~ a good training exercise (I ended up with a broken arm, Jackson!)

                                                                                                   ^Suck it up, Stilinski

 

47) If Stiles is doing research, please don’t bother him ~~(Derek, this includes you too, dammit!)~~

                                                                                                            ^ ~~But what if I~~

                                                                                                                        ^Not a chance

 

48) No fireworks allowed. Ever. For obvious reasons.

 

49) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING A ROOM

 

50) No pack member gets left behind.

**Author's Note:**

> I might add more later... We'll see, though.


End file.
